Movie or baseball career?

I have been in a panic lately, with a few full blown anxiety attacks. I have crazy dreams and wake up a few times a night. Why, you ask?...entirely too many things are starting to come together for my TJ, It's all good things and as parents we want our kids to have it all, but no matter which way I add it up I'm coming up short.

TJ has been waiting a long time to play high school ball...well, he got the chance. TJ officially made the team on Thursday. We won't find out if it is the A or B team for 3 more weeks. Ordinarily, it wouldn't matter

but...

This semester TJ took Intro to Drama to fulfill an easy elective requirement. Turns out it is his favorite class and he really wants to join drama and be in the school play. He is playing baseball, so he will have to wait until next winter, when football is over. He is also thinking about drama in college in addition to baseball and pre-med...whatever...

Last April Lily's Talent signed TJ in anticipation of him growing and being an adult model for them. TJ waited very patiently for almost a year watching Callahan book job after job. Last month TJ had 2 movie auditions at Columbia college...one of them he received a callback and made it to the final 2...we really thought he booked it, but the casting director said, and I quote:

"While TJ is exceptionally talented, the director feels that he isn't quite ready for the role of "Garrett."

We really appreciate the time you spent bringing him to the audition and I hope that I can keep his head shot and resume in my files so that I can email you about any further work I feel he might be interested in'

I think it came down to experience, TJ just doesn't have enough...yet

.. A week ago TJ had an another audition at Columbia by the same director for a different movie. Plus, this week his agent called to say TJ was one of 3 boys from Lily's that was chosen to audition for a NBC Pilot called REM starring Jason Isaacs.(click on REM to go to Jason page then click on REM in pre production, then click on 9 news articles to see plot) If he got the show, they would fly us to LA to shoot the Pilot over spring break. If the pilot got picked up TJ would have a recurring role...in LA.

My fear was "Holy crap, what if he got it"

not "ah, he won't get it"

See now where the anxiety kicks in? I do have a job and 2 other kids. Tim works many hours.

Scale pay for this would cover 4 years of college.

TJ had the audition on Thursday, for REM he feels he did well. there were probably 12 teens total auditioning. No info was given and no callback dates posted....so we are in limbo.

Jump to TJ making the baseball team....honestly if A or B were chosen that would help with all these decisions...except LA...he would go to LA.

Yesterday, I received an email from the director from Columbia college saying " We would like to see TJ next Saturday at 2 pm (TJ got a callback)...memorize 4 new pages of script"...movie will shoot around spring Break and the week after.

Baseball practice- Mon-Fri 7-9pm and 1-3 on Saturday's.

With a freaking pounding heart yesterday , I emailed the director from Columbia asking for the schedule of practice times as I needed to make sure TJ can commit 100% to the movie with baseball.

I honestly expected a "we'll call you for the next movie when TJ isn't in sports"

NOOOO, I got a nice reply saying "it shoots around spring Break and we will fit in the rehearsals around the 2 main characters schedules....Aarrgh! TJ being a main character (potentially)

We should say "No" to the movie, but here is my selfish thinking. 24 kids tried out for baseball...3 were not good and should have been cut. They kept all 24 to have 2 full teams.(very low turnout) TJ is battling one other boy for A team short stop...only 1 will get it and the other will go to B.

If 100 kids tried out and they took the top 24 A/B team....who cares? But a B team with 3 crappy players...is a crappy team. I'm just being honest here.

See my "stuck in limbo" predicament? Do we turn down callback? and hope he gets on A? Do we commit to both and them plunge a knife in my chest if the pilot pans out after committing to Columbia and baseball?

Of, course non of this is life or death, but each choice can alter his future, Not to mention I don't want to burn any bridges for TJ

TJ is a very talented actor we are finding out....coincidently in the pilot and the Columbia college movie TJ would play a teenager that just lost his mom. He almost had me in tears when we did lines. He can make his voice crack and he can cry on cue.

There are just too many "What if's" here

Aarrgh!!!