A Night Out at the Theater

It was my big night out with my boys. We were going downtown to

the Oriental Theater to see Mary Poppins. You think Mary Poppins and a warm fuzzy feeling

comes over you,  reminiscent of your childhood days.

We started our night with a nice dinner (I envisioned a steak house) the

boys wanted Arby's.

It's about being together, right?

Whatever...

We did some shopping on State Street and with 15 min to curtain we headed across the

street to the Oriental Theater

only to find out ...

It was at the Palace theater 3 blocks down


Again, WHATEVER!

We get to our seats giddy with anticipation

The curtain goes up and the show begins, the next 1 1/2 hours

went something like this

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

"Where's Mary Poppins?"

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

"Where'd  Mary Poppins go?"

"I told you I didn't want to come, where's Mary Poppins?"

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

"sniff sniff in" "sniff sniff out" "sniff in, sniff out"

hmmm

I felt as though I was staring in my own version of "Stomp"

If possible, I gladly would have eaten a bullet

 right then and there

TJ has this sinus problem that apparently makes him breath

in Tempo

And Callahan w/o knowing it lets out a little hum every 45 sec like clock work

I had one them on each side of me and you guessed it, Karrick (while on my lap)

asked every scene change "where's Mary Poppins"

"I want to go home"

"I'm never coming here again"

When TJ wasn't sniffing in and out in tempo

he did manage a snide

"I don't get it, it doesn't make sense, there's no plot"

"It's  Mary F-ing Poppins"

 What don't you get?

Holy Crap are you frigging kidding me?

Have I failed as a parent?

My kids don't get Disney?

3 min into  supercalafragilistic...expiealadoscious

 and 5 min before intermission

I packed it in

I took the sniffer, the hummer and the whiner and went home

I giggled the whole way home, cause this shit only

happens to me

I honestly had a good time with my boys